Battle the unknown
CHAPTER 9:
Partial recall.
"What am i supposed to tell the others" Adrian whispered painfully "what ever you want to, if you want to" "so you don't care what they think of you" "Adrian you know i do more than anything else i don't want the family to hate me but this is important this is for us" his voice is shaken his eyes pierce firmly into Adrian's eyes their thoughts corrupted by emotions i can only feel their pain, "How long will you be gone?" silence fills the room i fear they might hear my hearth beat if some one doesn't say something "As long as it takes" his brows bend on his face as he turns in my direction anger and pain wash over him i can hear his skin burn under the hot red blood that now spills from his eyes he lifts his head attempting to muster courage that is long gone to make it easier for Adrian to let him go "Your in charge now, take good care of them do what i can't do anymore be there for them Adrian i know you can" he turns towards the door the skin under his eyes swollen from the burn slowly healing his face cold and his mind made up his brown eyes i can no longer see, travel as far as his legs stride almost leaving the room behind "Gordon!" She calls out to him when he reaches the door "what about me?" her tears are just as red as his but something about the way it falls make me feel its more painful and i hurt too i have to hold back mine before i am discovered "You'll survive without me" his words drop like a nuclear weapon he doesn't shift his gaze from the hallway i cant see his eyes but i know he doesn't mean it like that he can't not care what she feels i want to run out of the wardrobe but i can't i wouldn't make this any better if they knew i was watching they would hurt more but i can't understand any of this and i don't want to i just want to forget and pretend like i never saw it. His footsteps echo in my head he walks slowly but soon the sound is gone and every proof of his presence gone with it his scent leaves the room almost as quickly as he did and Adrian just sits there hurting like she shouldn't have to and soon like him she is gone from the room but still a part of our lives which is more than i can say for Gordon.
"Wake up wake up, please just say something" "she's gonna be okay she just needs time" "its been weeks now how much more time does she need". Voices in my head that sound so real and so alive welcoming me to consciousness, my eye lids slowly part; at first my vision is blurred but it quickly straightens out allowing me to pick out the images "Zena can you hear me...Her eyes are open!" Piper yells out looking behind us for a second then back at me her body crushing mine brings a whole new safety net warming my heart i hear several others run in the room gets crowded almost everyone is here smiling weird smiles talking i can barely hear anything over the chatter Iroh isn't talking he's right beside me with Piper smiling at me like i just won the lottery Jodi kisses me on the forehead "it's nice to have you back" she says "don't scare us like that ever again" Casper says "i wasn't scared though i knew you would be okay" "what? not true Brandon was freaking out when they brought you back look he still has the lines on his forehead to prove it" Vixen says childishly pointing to Brandon's forehead they seem pretty happy to see me alive, "and i was worried sick, you are so......just don't do that again" Mona says stroking my hair i don't see Adrian anywhere. My bones are good as new like they were never hurt my wounds are healed and my skin back to being flawless i'm glad we got out of that place, we? "Cuinn and Taylor?" my voice is straight and direct but the question just hangs in the air it wasn't intended for any particular person. "Taylor is safe she heals a lot faster than you she's gone hunting with the others" Iroh's voice is believable and soothing but his face betrays regret "and Cuinn" i may not have intended it but my voice sounds hopeful but the faces of everyone else stripped of smiles they had worn only seconds ago now heavy and marred with pain i don't need words to tell me what they are all thinking but i don't say anything either cause i don't know what to say "He said he would hold them off" my voice trails off and the pain from my wounds even though they are completely gone resurfaces weighing me down "he did" Iroh says "is he dead" "we're not sure but he never made it out" the silence almost kills me "why me?" "i told you she would be ungrateful" Jodi says in a flat tone but i meant it why save me the question is stupid so i don't ask it out loud but they have already heard it. "lets give her some air shall we" Iroh says clearing out the room he turns to give Piper an encouraging look before he steps out zipping up the tent behind him.
Her head turns away from me she just sits there thinking of how to start a conversation she had waited so long to have "Don't!" her voice is high and low at once her gaze doesn't shift from the glass case to me "don't go poking around in my head, i know you can do that" "so you know everything then" "as much as your brother was patient enough to explain" "are you mad at me, do you hate me, for not telling you" "yes and no, i am mad at you but i don't hate you Z i can't hate you even if i tried" her eyes meet mine i can only imagine what she feels what she is thinking, she asked me not to pry and i respect that it's the least i can do after having invaded her privacy for so long after everything i put her through. She pushes her hair backward a couple of times i can't continue to resist peeking the lack of words in the open is killing me "why are you still here?" my voice is cold even though i don't want it to be but i have to know and i can't ask her any other way she should be home by now not here she should be back to her life continue on like nothing happened forget everything she saw but she is here sitting right beside me hurting inside. "do you want me to leave?" "yes" no i don't want her to leave but it's what's best for her, being here wouldn't make her life any easier she is still in the middle of all this still in danger she should be safe and this is me trying to be selfless "i wouldn't let him take me back, i wanted to see you safe they were going to leave you there" "well i am here you can see me and i am safe so when do you leave" "Don't do this" hes eyes darken she strokes her hair several more times as she speaks "do what, protect you" "if you wanted to protect me you would have told me trusted me" "and would you still have been my friend still treat me like everyone else would you" my voice is high and my head hurts i just want this to be over i want this to end not just the conversation the war the rage everything she doesn't answer me "i thought so" "don't pin this on me you dragged me into this i didn't ask for any of this" her word hit me like a dagger her eyes filled with rage her voice can be heard from miles away and i cant blame her she has the right to be angry and she is right i did drag her into this its my fault "i'm sorry" she says "no don't be your right it is all my fault i lied and i can't tell you how sorry i am but i can make sure you never get hurt again and that's why you have to leave so you ca be safe get as far away from me and my kind as you possibly can" the tent unzips and Adrian walks in her gaze shifts from me to Piper why did she have to walk in now "Am i interrupting something" yes you are can't you see i'm trying to convince this strong headed girl i am no good for her, "no i was just leaving" Piper says slowly waking over to the bed she rests her lips on my head longer than usual her soft lips calming me and making me glad i met her, she walks away from both i and Adrian "oh and Zena, your not the boss of me" and with that she walks out of the tent the same words she'd used on me when we met when i tried to convince her to stay away from me "the psychopath with the killer bike" the thought of it makes me chuckle under my breathe. "I know, bad timing" "you think?" i am angry but i sound received "did you know?" "that they would send you to Winclove" "did you know?" my voice is higher now my eyes hurt as the tears well up her hands stay in the pocket of her blue jeans her thumbs hanging out on both sides just like i stand on regular days i look a lot like her i missed her a lot too but i have to know "i suggested they send you and Iroh" her eyes widen as the words leave her lips her stance doesn't change and she looks at me blankly like she doesn't care that her words might hurt me why would she do that how could she "i thought you'd want to save her and you did didn't you so you owe me a thank you" well when she says it like that it does make sense i should say thank you in the least "and Iroh" "he's the only one i trust enough to keep you in check" she moves a little closer to sit in bed in the exact same spot Piper had been "don't ever do something like that ever again" she says patting me almost harshly on the shoulder "i thought you knew i would try to save her" "i guess i underestimated just how stupid you really are" "why didn't they get Cuinn" "you know why" her hands lay my hair behind my ears her skin feels warm against mine, i guess i've gotten used to the cold skin of the vampire "get out of bed soon you still need to practice, the war has just fully begun" i know. i can only imagine the blood bath that comes next her eyes smile at me at the thought of a bloodbath the true hunger for war the excitement now clear to me i can't wait to begin i can't also wait for it to end i'm conflicted but for now i have something new to focus on "don't even think about it, its too dangerous he can handle himself" "you don't understand Adrian it's my fault he's there in the first place its on me" "no, he made a choice to go back he knew he might not make it but he did it anyway so leave it be" she's right he made his choice for me and now i must make mine for him.
The next weeks fly by so fast, training resumes back to sparring with Reinhold but i hunt alone. The attacks grow unbearable and we draw closer and closer to the gates the excitement becomes even more difficult to contain Piper continues to ignore me Iroh and Mona seem to be her new best friends they follow her every where maybe to protect her or because they have been enchanted by her personality like i was. I thought after i found her saved her that things would be better that we would live happily ever after but it isn't we aren't running away together like i pictured we are still here awaiting the most dangerous war yet and i have more to loose now than i did years ago, this is one war i have to win.
The night carries slow breeze shaking the ponds on occasion, the sky is with little stars but the view from the high ground is beautiful the cricket are very annoying i manage to ignore them to enjoy the night this one beautiful night the trees move with the wind and i float on it tossing rocks into the pond every now and again each rock for all the good things in my life i've managed to mess up. Feeling the wind in my face carefree and relaxed for the first time since this all began i just lay there suspended in mid air enjoying the scenery the variety and beauty the perfect distraction. Some branches break behind me under the force of someone's booths the footsteps draw closer i'm pretty sure i flew miles from camp who would follow me out here well really i could give you a hundred guesses but none of them would be right; the one person i was certain wouldn't know where or how to find me is standing right in front of me brushing her hair backward as usual smiling at me "Isn't it cold out here" "what are you talking to me now?" "no just asking if you were cold" "yea i am sort of but its good" she covers the distance between us i let myself settle to the ground as she chuckles "what?" i ask "i don't think i can ever get used to that" she throws the blanket around both of us resting her head on my shoulders staring at the stars "how did you find me" "your brother sniffed you out dropped me off a mile back" "Casper?" "yea that's the one" she puts her arms around me covering up what ever little space is left i just stare at her for the longest 3minutes ever "you can look if you want, or listen or what ever it is you do, to my thought's i mean" "i don't want to, your an open book you know; i can tell what your thinking just by looking at you" "oh yea what am i thinking then" "that i'm no good for you that your family misses you that you should go back" "liar!" "at least that's what you should be thinking" "Zena let it go this is one of the many fights your not gonna win" she doesn't move her head from my shoulders the stars still look as calm but the waters move two frogs jump through it one chasing the other they jump so high so easily playing as they dash through my safe pond now unsettled in their wake "so how did you feel, when you found out" "that everything i ever read about or watched on t.v was real? How do you think i felt" "terrified, in danger angry" "wrong, it was hilarious at first but then i was stuck in a cell and the fun died there" "hilarious, fun?" unbelievable "what are you?, your hardly human" "ha ha ha" her lips curving makes me tense and that's one of the things i had missed about her, how she can make you feel safe and insecure at the same time and she is doing that right now. "so tell me about him, whats his name" "Cuinn?" "yeah the one that went back for you" "he's a vampire" "well that's a shocker in the movies the fragile little girls always falls for the vampire" "this isn't a movie" i say as slowly as i can looking up towards the sky but not seeing the stars seeing his face seeing a broad smile run across his cheeks, "do you like him" do i like him no, i don't know could i, impossible she's just naive and i'm not fragile "oh my god you do don't you" her voice breaks the wind as she lifts her head from my shoulders looking me in the eye "unbelievable Zena a vampire's girl" "Piper it's not like that i don't ....." "don't lie to me you didn't answer you do that when your guilty you are definitely into him, finally something interesting to tell the girls back in school" "if you make it back" my eyes travel deep into the darkness of the woods checking how safe it is to walk back to camp. "get in here" i open my arms and she gets in holding tight onto me as i lift off the longest flight i ever had with her going on about how fast i'm going not only is she heavy she also makes me fly slowly so she doesn't puke somehow i like that at least i'm sure she is still human. "were here" i say landing is light which is unlike me i don't think i've ever had a passenger on board "ugh, remind me never to fly coach again" she looks squeamish "here i'll walk you to your tent" i hold her hand to lead her so she doesn't fall she nearly stumbles over a thousand rocks but i manage to get her there in one piece "see you in the morning" i say to her as i turn to leave her tent "stay" she says slowly in almost a whisper "what?" i pretend not to hear her "stay with me, just for tonight, i don't wanna be alone" i just stand there looking at her "please" she stretches out her hand and grabs mine before i have the chance to respond. Cuddling is just what i need "i love you Z, your my best friend no matter what you are" thanks i guess. She doses off in a short time filling the room with her snores priceless i'll be sure to tell her all about it tomorrow morning but for now, i should get some rest.
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